Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Why, Thank You!

What’s the best (or rather, worst) backhanded compliment you’ve ever received? If you can’t think of any — when’s the last time someone paid you a compliment you didn’t actually deserve?


This is the Daily Post's Daily Prompt for today, and it really caught my fancy. I can’t think of any backhanded compliments I have personally received, though I know I’ve had my share. I’ve also given out my share, so maybe that’s why I’m not sensitive to them. But this topic made me think about what constitutes a backhanded compliment. In order for it to be backhanded, the person saying it has to have an ulterior motive to hurt the person it’s aimed at. Maybe that’s another reason I don’t notice them so much. I think everyone loves me (just kidding). As the Young Women’s president in our LDS ward (congregation), I deal with teenage girls all the time. I’m not sure what it is about the ages of 12-18 that make kids (espcially girls) turn into mean, vicious, emotionally-destructive-to-others, insensitive twerps, but it does. Don’t get me wrong, they can also be the most loyal, loving, giving individuals you will meet. As long as you don’t come across them in a pack. I think I’ve heard the kindest and meanest things to ever penetrate my eardrums since I stated this calling.

A friend told me that when her oldest turned 13, she sat him down and had the following conversation:

“Son, you know I love you, right?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“And I want you to know that I will always love you. Do you believe that?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Tomorrow, you’re going to turn 13, and there’s a really big chance that after tomorrow I might not always like you most of the time. But I will still always love you, because I’m your mom. Do you believe that?”

"Eh...sure, I guess.”

“Good. And we can be friends again as soon as you turn 21.”

“Okay, Mom.”

So, in honor of backhanded compliment day, here are some that I can think of (probably because I’ve heard them coming my way or out of my mouth at various and sundry times):

“Not everyone can carry off that color, but it looks fine on you.”

“You almost made that look graceful.”

“You look like someone who knows how to enjoy a good meal.”

Anything sentence ending with“...bless your heart.”

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