Why, Thank You!

What’s the best (or rather, worst) backhanded compliment you’ve ever received? If you can’t think of any — when’s the last time someone paid you a compliment you didn’t actually deserve?

This is the Daily Post's Daily Prompt for today, and it really caught my fancy. I can’t think of any backhanded compliments I have personally received, though I know I’ve had my share. I’ve also given out my share, so maybe that’s why I’m not sensitive to them. But this topic made me think about what constitutes a backhanded compliment. In order for it to be backhanded, the person saying it has to have an ulterior motive to hurt the person it’s aimed at. Maybe that’s another reason I don’t notice them so much. I think everyone loves me (just kidding). As the Young Women’s president in our LDS ward (congregation), I deal with teenage girls all the time. I’m not sure what it is about the ages of 12-18 that make kids (espcially girls) turn into mean, vicious, emotionally-destructive-to-others, insensitive twerps, but it does. Don’t get me wrong, they can also be the most loyal, loving, giving individuals you will meet. As long as you don’t come across them in a pack. I think I’ve heard the kindest and meanest things to ever penetrate my eardrums since I stated this calling.

A friend told me that when her oldest turned 13, she sat him down and had the following conversation:

“Son, you know I love you, right?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“And I want you to know that I will always love you. Do you believe that?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Tomorrow, you’re going to turn 13, and there’s a really big chance that after tomorrow I might not always like you most of the time. But I will still always love you, because I’m your mom. Do you believe that?”

"Eh...sure, I guess.”

“Good. And we can be friends again as soon as you turn 21.”

“Okay, Mom.”

So, in honor of backhanded compliment day, here are some that I can think of (probably because I’ve heard them coming my way or out of my mouth at various and sundry times):

“Not everyone can carry off that color, but it looks fine on you.”

“You almost made that look graceful.”

“You look like someone who knows how to enjoy a good meal.”

Anything sentence ending with“...bless your heart.”

Daily Prompt: Papa Loves Mambo

What sort of music was played in your house when you were growing up? What effect, (if any) did it have on your musical tastes?

Oh my, where to start. I come from a very musical family. My paternal grandmother was a piano teacher who taught herself how to play from listening intently at her three sons' piano lessons and then helping them while they practiced and working through their assignments on her own. My maternal grandmother was also a self-taught pianist who made sure all four of her children learned at least one instrument (I think my mom plays three, maybe four). My mom studied music education at the U of U, and my dad and his two brothers played in dance bands around Salt Lake City from the 1950s through the early 1970s. I remember my dad going out on gigs as a very small child.

The music that was played in our house ran the gamete. Classical, jazz, big band (yes, it's different from jazz), old standards, new pop, and some rock. The only music not allow was anything with questionable lyrics or if the beat gave my mom a headache. We'd still sneak of the last kind in occasionally. Hey, we were kids. My brother loved (and probably still does) the Beatles. My dad wowed us all with his lightning quick fingers as he'd riff through jazz numbers. All of my parents' five children play the piano and learned at least one other instrument (most of us play the violin because we had one).

I have a degree in Musical Education from the U. I play the piano, the violin, and the voice (singing). I tried the flute and the viola for half a year in junior high. I have performed with choirs from junior high school through college and at church (I've sung at the LDS Conference Center [including in a choir for a session of General Conference], and on Temple Square at the Assembly Hall and Tabernacle). I played in the Granite Youth Symphony from eighth through eleventh grade (when I unfortunately gave up the violin). I've been hired by local community theater companies to be the music director for several shows. That's how I met Mr. Perfect. I've performed on stage in several musical productions here in Salt Lake. I have been teaching piano for almost 30 years.

I guess you could say that music permeates my life. My college vocal teacher told me that I needed to marry a man who understood music, because if he didn't, he would never understand me. I agree. If Mr. Perfect didn't know music (he played the french horn and sang in choir in high school), he would never completely understand me. I know a lot of women like to keep an edge on their men, but I would rather have a partner than a slave to my whims.

Music fills our house. We have a beautiful Baldwin studio upright in the living room. When it's played, there is no where in the house you can't hear it. We have a violin and a plethora (I love using that word) of percussion instruments. And Mr. Perfect loves a good stereo. He's pieced a couple together for us so that we have an amazing (and completely worthless monetarily) surround sound system for the family room T.V.

To close, I'd have to agree with Mr. Shakespeare that music is the food of love, so "play on."

Another blog

I hope that most of you realize by now just how crazy I am. I work full-time as a technical writer for a software company, plus I have between 15 and 20 piano students (fluctuation happens). I write this blog; I write my cooking blog; I've finished a novel that I need to find a good editor and agent for so I can get it published. And now I've created a photography blog. At least this one doesn't require me to write anything for it. I just have to edit photos I've taken and upload them. Check it out and let me know what you think. Click the photo below to go to the site.

Thanks!

A moment to consider the blog counter

I just looked, and the blog counter was on 7777. How bizarre is it that I would see that number? I mean, 7779 or 7787 or 7902 are more likely to be seen.

Just wanted to share my joy in all of this perusing ya'll are doing. Thanks!

A slightly over-due plug

A dear friend of mine was part of a writing collaboration to help a family whose father was murdered a little over a year ago. They collected and published a book of Christmas stories with all proceeds going to the family and the children's college fund. The book is called Christmas Wishes: A Collection of Holiday Tales. Even though Christmas is past, the book is still available from Amazon.com. Please consider purchasing it. Good stories for a good cause. You can't go wrong.

Way to go, Brodi!!!

Brodi Ashton is an old friend of mine from WAAAYYY back. Okay, not high school, but before either of us were married. I recently found out that her first novel was just published (December 2011). That is so exciting! The book is called Everneath. Here's the premises (courtesy of the King's English Bookshop website):

"Last spring, Nikki Beckett vanished, sucked into an underworld known as the Everneath. Now she’s returned—to her old life, her family, her boyfriend—before she’s banished back to the underworld . . . this time forever. She has six months before the Everneath comes to claim her, six months for good-byes she can’t find the words for, six months to find redemption, if it exists.

"Nikki longs to spend these precious months forgetting the Everneath and trying to reconnect with her boyfriend, Jack, the person most devastated by her disappearance—and the one person she loves more than anything. But there’s just one problem: Cole, the smoldering immortal who enticed her to the Everneath in the first place, has followed Nikki home. Cole wants to take over the throne in the underworld and is convinced Nikki is the key to making it happen. And he’ll do whatever it takes to bring her back, this time as his queen.

"As Nikki’s time on the Surface draws to a close and her relationships begin slipping from her grasp, she is forced to make the hardest decision of her life: find a way to cheat fate and remain on the Surface with Jack or return to the Everneath and become Cole’s queen.

"Everneath is a captivating story of love, loss, and immortality from debut author Brodi Ashton."

Cinderella and other such things

About 25 years ago, I started writing a novelization of the fairy tale Cinderella. It was before Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine and the current trend of rewriting your favorite fairy tale/myth/legend into YA fiction. I had read The Door in the Hedge by Robin McKinley. It contains several short stories based on fairy tales, with one original tale thrown in for good measure. Next, it was Beauty and I was hooked. So I decided to try writing a novel based on my favorite fairy tale, Cinderella. I started with the Grimm Brothers version and not the Perrault (Disney). There's no fairy godmother. There are three balls. There's a tree in a cemetery. There are birds instead of mice. Okay, really just one bird. And her father doesn't die.

In all honesty, that last thing was the hardest part to figure out. How to keep her father alive and still have the story follow it's most basic plot device. Who can imagine a father so self-absorbed that he would let this happen to his daughter? Unfortunately, it's something I've seen in real life. Not my life. My parents are amazing people who love and cherish all of their children, even those not born to them. But it did happen to someone very close to me. The abuse (mostly emotional and mental rather than physical) did not come from a step-parent but from her own mother while her seemingly-loving father did very little to mitigate the abuse. I am happy to say that her relationship with both of her parents is much better now, but only after years of pain, therapy, physical distance, and unconditional love from the abused. Knowing that I've seen this type of abuse might help you understand why things happen the way they do in my telling of the story.

For those of you to whom I had mentioned once that I might post parts of the story on this blog, I found out that if I do that, I might lose my intellectual rights to it. So sorry if you are waiting with baited breath. However, you can contact me directly (see the Random Contacting tab) if you are interested in being a reader for drafts and revisions. I probably won't send it out blindly to all who ask, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

For those of you who have read it over the years, here are some recent (and not so recent) changes:

• The main character's name is Isabeau (this is a not-so-recent change)
• Her county is now called Avignon
• The capitol city is Valedor (from Vale-d'Or [a small city in Quebec, Canada] and means valley of gold in French; it also means protector in Spanish)
• I've changed several characters' names from British to French (I doubt there has ever been a butler named Severs outside of England)

That's really it for the major changes. I am hoping to start the next major revision next week. I'm taking some time off of work. We'll see if that translates into "Hey, look at Most Happy Girl writing!"

A girl can dream, can't she?

It's more about the writing than the politics...

Disclaimer! This post in no way endorses or criticizes any political candidate or party. I'm just saying.

Last night, Mr. Perfect and I had great fun reading some of the Drudge Report articles together. Although I am very politically minded and active, I try to keep that off of this blog. This is more about family and every-day life than what's happening with the country in general.

That said, I couldn't resist sharing this particular article with you all...because the writing is so good. It's by Kathleen Parker (no relation), who writes for the Washington Post. It's an opinion piece about the Romney vs. Gingrich primary race. I don't think I've ever laughed out loud so much while reading the newspaper (including the comics). Hope you enjoy it, too.

Obessing over how many people are looking at my writing

I've been obsessing with the counter I added to my blog. I love to see it reach a new milestone.  Hey, another 10 people have viewed this blog. Oh look, it's reached 100! Now it's over 200. Soon it will be over 300. What will I be like when it finally hits 10,000?

Okay, okay, I know that sounds very narcissistic, but I'm a writer. I want people to read what I've written. Currently, most of what I write is read by people who are trying to figure out how to use their software. It's a little depressing, because I'm supposed to write in a way that other people can't tell that it's me who is writing it. It's supposed to sound like everyone else in my department. That way, if I need to take over someone else's project, you can't tell it's changed hands. The most fun I get is when I create an interactive demo. We get to be more creative with those, and I'm the "demo princess" (yeah, don't laugh), so my style is the main stamp on all of them, even the ones I don't make. Yes!

And some day, when I finally get up the nerve, I'll submit my manuscript to an editor and see if there's any hope for it to get published. That's a very scary thought. I wonder if I could take the kind of rejection you have to go through before someone finally says yes. If any one out there reading this is interested in it, I could post excerpts every now and then of it. It's a novelization of Cinderella. I wrote it back before the Harry Potter craze hit and suddenly YA fantasy took off. Wish I'd submitted before it now, because it will look like I'm just following the crowd. Live and learn.

Happy reading, my little pupils.